bang bang

so i've been pulling my bangs back lately.....trying to move from an audrey sort cute to a grace kelly woman look. not that bangs pulled back is a grace kelly look. anyway, it all makes sense in my head. but the problem is AND IT'S A PRETTY BIG ONE, is that i don't mind my bangs pulled back when my hair's in a ponytail. but down i HATE it. i hate bangs to the side or even worse, NO BANGS. so i don't know what to do. i don't want to wear a ponytail everyday, but i don't want to have no bangs when my hair is down. and it's driving me bonkers.

what's a girl to do?

feather not dot

a lot of things happening in the world today get me down in the dumps. but then i read things like this or this and it makes me think there are good things happening, you just have to be on the lookout. i can find beauty just about every where i go, but current events for the most part is just a big steaming pile of poo.

now on to the silly stuff....i wish i had more friends that like west wing. sometimes i think paul might be the only other person who was smitten by seeing toby's kids last night. i know it's just tv, but toby zeigler, you knock my fucking socks off. and it KILLS me that we have to WAIT another week to see what's going to happen. but they showed the previews and it's leo's death. he's no longer in any of the scenes, so they must have ran out of footage. and it's like he's dying all over again. i know no one else will get this and that it makes me a real nut, but oh well. there are a lot of things i want out of the last few shows. west wing is my mash. it'll be an end of an era when the last episode is over. and all i can say, is please do it right. please do something special.

little ol' emergen-c drinker me

i hit the jackpot at tower last night. new mates of state album AND i discovered that they carry a crapload of re-released dean martin albums. which probably means nothing to most people, but to me it means everything. i love old music, but the trouble with old music is that so much of it doesn't get put on cd and so i'm stuck with greatest hits albums. NO THANKS. i want original albums with original art, thank you very much. like lloyd price. do you know how hard it is find his stuff in a store...i mean other than the greatest hits one? you'd think that record stores would be paying a little more respect to the guy wrote both stagger lee and lawdy miss claudy. AND YES I SAID WROTE. can i get a fuck yeah?

anyway, so i'm stoked to own a real dean martin album besides the fine piece of vinyl hanging on the wall. and the new mates of state album is....by all means it's a good album and i'm stoked on it. it is, at least to me, a big departure for them. my little mates of state are growing up! and the album seems to have this sad streak through it. but i love it. and i can't wait to see them. they're such a great band to see live. and at the great american! one of my favorite bands, at one of my favorite places to see a show, with the ha-ra and the old chelsea right there. it's gonna be an awesome night.

a kiss seven years in the making

can i get fuck yeah?

josh and donna giving us TWO, COUNT 'EM, TWO big kisses in the first two minutes of the show?? here's to hoping the writers give us what we want. after all, they're canceling my most favorite show ever. help a sister out, west wing! sam's coming back...cj and danny possibly tying the knot...toby getting more screen time....now give us JOSH AND DONNA!

i'm a dan fan

or at least i was. i love project runway. i love watching people create clothes, watching them sew...and up until the final three were picked, daniel v was the one i was cheering for. chloe's stuff all seemed the same and santino was a jackass with his crazy shit everywhere. but seeing santino in his own place, hearing him be honest and not "santino," my opinion changed. plus i liked his collection the most.

so it fucking astounds me that chloe got picked. her stuff was so BAD. those crazy dresses??? i can't fucking believe it. i really can't. i think they picked her because she gets nina garcia wet in the panties. anyone who watched the show with any regularity will know what i'm talking about.

ug. it's a real bummer when both real news and reality tv bum you out. what's up with that?

bad diary days

i'm trying to think of good things to keep my mind off of my great grandfather's death. the last time i saw a lot of that part of my family was when my great grandmother pat passed away. although i'd like to go to the funeral, i hate the idea that it's funerals that bring us together. my mom said my papa was supposed to call me when he came to town to take care of some stuff, but i never heard from him. it would have been nice. i really miss my papa and i'd like him to meet paul. i've come to terms with not being able to invite my family to the wedding and that's fine, it doesn't bother me anymore, or at least not enough to make an issue of it. but i would like my papa to meet the man i'm going to marry. i know that there's plenty of time for all of that, some things are just important, you know?

i wrote a song for you

i know that it's probably cliche and soooo un-cool, but to hell if i don't absolutely love coldplay's "yellow". don't be a naysayer!

let's fly way up to the clouds

it's funny how as soon as one problem goes away, it's replaced by a whole new set. no sooner had i made the decision that i wasn't going to stress or be a poopy pants about the wedding because we're on a super strict budget, that paul's mom ends up in the hospital and my boss is diagnosed with cancer (again).

luckily paul's mom seems to be doing fine, but she sure did scare the crap out of us for a good while. she's an amazing, very kind hearted person and i thank god that she's ok. my boss, however, doesn't seem to be so lucky, but you never know. for almost a year we had the world's worst boss. complete fucking asshole. then in october we got miss jw. she really is awesome. -as a person as well as someone i can really learn a lot from about work. seriously, how many bosses say you can listen to dean martin and bobby darin at work? but that's besides the point. over a month ago she started not feeling well and it got worse and worse, to the point where she wasn't even really eating. long story short, she has cancer in her lungs, stomach, and kidneys. i think monday is the last day we'll see her for a while and i'm hoping that the chemo works. and by work i mean, i hope it does more than "just buy her time". i know what that means, yet i don't really know what it means. the concept of buying time is so sad to me. because the reality is that they're dying and there's nothing you can do about it. the downtown branch manager is just recovering from cancer in that area...had some of her intestines and other organs removed, so i'm hoping my boss can pull through this. but part of me knows that there's a good chance she won't and it's too much to think about. she said that if you're the type that prays, to say a prayer for her. i'm not one to pray, for more reasons than i care to go into, but i'm sure it wouldn't hurt if a few of you who do, if you could. and i promise to try not to badmouth catholics again.